Delayed Gratification

I never thought I would be one of those adults that would preach to younger generations about how much different times were when I was a kid. In fact, I specifically remember being thoroughly annoyed when teachers and other grown-ups would mutter phrases such as, "Kids these days", or "Back when I was growing up, kids were taught to mind." The reality of the matter is, every generation is different, because they're growing up in different times. People evolve just as the environment surrounding them does.

However, I must say that there is one thing that concerns me a little bit- and that is the fact that everything that I once had to work for and wait for, is just magically there for this new generation, right at the tips of their fingers.

I was listening to a conversation the other day on NPR (yes, I've learned to embrace the idea that I enjoy public radio sometimes more than the 200+ stations SIRIUS offers- yet another thing I thought I'd never enjoy as an adult). The conversation was regarding the idea of Delayed Gratification, which I believe is perhaps the most concerning epidemic in the scrutiny of the upcoming generations. The main topic of the conversation centered around the idea that the newest generation has adapted this immediacy when it comes to most things in life that past generations used to have to wait for. It's like that DJ BoBo song, "I know what I want, and I want it now." This phenomena is perhaps mainly due to the evolution of technology.

We have access to merely anything via the Internet- no more long lines at the toy store for the Sally Secrets doll at Christmas time, or a 3 week search at a yard sale for the classic picture book that's no longer in print. Personalized items, such as LL Bean backpacks with our initials printed on them, or pencils with our names engraved down the sides just aren't cool anymore. Mothers no longer get together to craft personalized birthday party invitations, or call up their great aunt for a casserole recipe. The convenience of the Internet has allowed us to leave behind the days of crafting, searching, and most importantly, being resourceful.

Technology and the Internet has made the world extremely convenient, but within this convenience, lays a dangerous and growing issue with today's youth. We are no longer raising children who need to be resourceful, but rather children who need instant gratification at their immediate fingertips.

Now that I've lived 2 and a half decades, I can say that there were many things I not only had to learn as a child, but there were also things that I had to wait for. Although at times it seems like waiting was annoying, out of this frustration came great virtue such as patience, gratefulness, more thorough satisfaction and that sense of delayed gratification. I think anyone can attest to the fact that there's much more value found in things that have been worked for and waited for. Our culture is now centralized around the idea of everything being convenient and immediate.

So on my long ride home from class the other night I was thinking about this delayed gratification theme while I was listening to NPR. I came up with a top ten list of things that I had to wait for as a kid, that are right at our fingertips in the present time.

10. Caller ID. Who's on the end of the other line? There's no longer any wonder when that phone rings- we know exactly who's calling. And what's even better, is that we get to choose if we want to talk to them. When I was a kid, I had to pick up the phone and just be surprised. Maybe it was my grandmother. Maybe it was my friend. Maybe it was a person from the church trying to convert me to their religion. You just never knew. Now, I find myself asking, "Do I want to talk to this person right now?" Luckily though, as a child I developed the skill of engaging in forced conversation- I know how to talk to someone even if I don't want to talk to them, thanks to the lack of Caller ID.

9. Facebook. Or any other social networking sight. When I was a kid, I had to ask someone what they were doing, or how they were feeling. I didn't get an update every few minutes. And also, photo albums were something that sat on coffee table to share with friends who visited- not with a 400 person buddy list. And when I saw someone from high school that I hadn't seen in years, I'd say something like, "Wow, you look so much different," instead of, "I love your facebook pictures of your baby, and your little puppy, and your wedding photos, and the 14 different styles of hair you've had throughout the years, and the pictures of you dancing on the bar, and in your bikini, and your crazy ex-boyfriend, and your ugly college roommates, and that picture of you doing a keg stand in Puerto Rico."

8. Registries. Just the whole idea of them, whether it's for baby showers, weddings, or whatever. When I registered for my baby shower, I not only got to communicate with everyone on exactly what I wanted, but I got to sneakily check what had already been purchased every day online (let's admit it, the people who claim they don't do this are lying). I still acted surprised at my shower when I received the items, but I felt like I really missed out on that true element of surprise that comes with getting gifts. There's a piece of me that just wanted people to put their own thought into choosing a gift for me, because it would have made it that much more special.

7. Spell Check. When I was a kid, I not only had to learn to spell, but it was crucial in my success as a student. Now, when I write a paper, I don't even know if I'm spelling a word wrong because the computer automatically corrects it before I get a chance. The same with grammar. The same with handwriting. Unfortunately, someday our kids will still need to fill out job applications, and hand-write things like bank checks and holiday cards. Although spelling and GUM is still taught in school, it's arguable that kids don't get quite as much practice is this area due to convenient word processing programs.

6. Texting. Or Iming. Or even E-mailing. I used to have to deal with talking with someone face-to-face, or at least over the phone. I had to learn how to read body language, and tone of voice, and all of those other non-verbals. I couldn't stop and think about what I was going to say and carefully word it before I actually said it. I couldn't say something, then erase it, then re-say it the way I wanted. I had one shot. If it came out wrong, I had to deal with the consequences. No hiding behind a computer screen for me- human interaction wasn't quite as digitalized in my time. One thing that worked in my generation's favor, however, was that there was no saved history of our conversations, just hear-say, and fading memories.

5. TiVo, or DVR. When I turned on the TV, I just had to watch what was on. Sometimes I had to wait until 7:00 just to watch Full House. If I missed my favorite show, I just had to take the loss. Maybe I'd see it again as a rerun, maybe not. I didn't get to record it, and fast-forward through the commercials. And furthermore, I couldn't pause it to get up to go pee. I had to wait for a commercial. However, from growing up with only live TV, I became interested in television that I never would have watched in this day and age, just because there was nothing else on, and no option to watch what was recorded.

4. GPS Systems. Even Mapquest. Nope. Not when I learned to drive. I just had to follow someones shitty directions. But at least I can say that I have the problem solving skills to find my way home no matter how lost I get. I know pretty much all of the back roads in the state of Vermont from getting lost. It was always a stressful but educational adventure.

3. Dictionaries and Encyclopedias. I have a whole collection of them sitting on my book shelf collecting dust. If I need to look up a word, I type it into a word program and hit "Apple D". And if I need to find information on something, I look it up on the Internet, because we all know how notable Wikipedia is (sarcasm). If my child gets sick, I don't need to go to the library and research symptoms of diseases and disorders, or even ask an experienced mother. It's called WebMD. No more learning how to sort things in alphabetical order (this goes for phone books, too). No more card catalogs, or Dewey Decimal systems, or categorizing by theme. It takes too much time. Just look it up in a search engine.

2. Digital Photographs. No more wonder in waiting to get a roll of film developed. In fact, I now take several of the same pose until I can see that one has turned out okay. I must say that I love my old photo albums of candid, less than perfect pictures of people. You can tell when a photo was taken before the age of digital cameras, because a head will be chopped off, or a person will have a piece of broccoli stuck in their teeth. I do need to mention, though, that I don't love that my photos are being shared with the world on social networking sights within moments of when they were taken. The only ones I can control are the ones that I've taken.

1. Ultrasounds. This has got to be #1 on a top ten list. My mom didn't know my gender before the big day. If that's not a surprise, what is?

I love the convenience of all of these things. And I do believe that our children have adapted to the evolution of all of this technology quite well. Perhaps the Internet has plagued the 21st century youth like alcohol and drugs took over my generation, and the many generations before me. Maybe it's dangerous, and maybe it's an epidemic. Maybe it's nothing to worry about at all. I just hope that somehow our youth will still be able to enjoy the anticipation of waiting, and the idea that patience is a virtue.




P.S. And Downloadable music. If I liked a song, I used to have to spend about 15-20 bucks on a CD. And before that, it was about 12 bucks on a tape. Yes, a tape. I'm that old....