Lactation

*Click to enlarge....

Alice's Definition of a Lactation Consultant: A person or professional, usually a registered nurse, who is trained to secretly guilt post-partum mothers into breastfeeding exclusively by providing radical and sometimes false information regarding the benefits, necessity and urgency of breastfeeding an infant until 12 months of age.

Human Lactation is never something I thought about much until I became pregnant. In fact, I associated the word with cows more than I ever I did with humans. So when my mid-wife asked me at one of my prenatal check-ups if I was planning on breastfeeding, I thoughtlessly responded "Yes".

Then I researched it. There's no denying that human milk is not only the most natural, but best source of nutrients for newborn babies. It provides protection and antibodies that cannot be replicated in any man-made substance, supplement or formula. Also, the act of breastfeeding itself serves as a bonding experience between mother and child that cannot be matched by any other life experience or encounter, and is vital for the future growth and development of the child.

So I was sold. When my mid-wife asked me that million dollar question, it was like Alex Trebeck 20 years ago on Jeopardy, "Is that your final answer?" Yes ma'am, it is, no questions asked.

What a god damn naive response that was. How ignorant was I to not even think about researching the other side? There's plenty of women who don't breastfeed. What about them? Are they just uneducated? Do they not care about their babies' health and well-being? OOOhhh.. let me just pass judgement on them real quick while I make my end all decision overnight.

.

So after Avery was born, reality spoke. Breastfeeding is hard. In fact, it's probably one the hardest thing s I've ever done. It was more challenging than the 9 months of pregnancy, and the birth, and pretty much everything in life. And it was stressful, too. The most stress I have ever, ever been through. But somehow I survived it.

I'm ecstatic to say that I still nurse today. It's been 9 months, and I'm darn proud. It's an accomplishment for me. I went through hell, without an ounce of support from any F***ing Lactation Consultant, either. In fact, all I had was my boyfriend Josh, and my mother for a very short while, to provide a helping hand and words of encouragement.

So for the first 2 weeks of Avery's life I nursed every half an hour 24 hours a day. This is no exaggeration. My milk came in 12 days after I gave birth. The oh so wonderful (sarcasm) lactation consultant sent us home from the hospital with sugar water to feed Avery from a syringe instead of formula. She warned us that if we ever even tried to give him a bottle, pacifier, or any type of liquid other than breast milk through any other feeding mechanism other than my nipple, then I could count out all possibilities of ever breastfeeding. What a lying sack of shit she was.

Now an experienced mother, I know. I know precisely the following:

1. Formula isn't poison. In fact, it's come a long way. It nourishes babies very well. There are plenty of babies, in fact the majority of babies out there who were fed just formula, and they are absolutely, totally healthy and thriving.
.

2. I am not a walking, talking, breathing pacifier. And if I give my baby a pacifier, it does not make me a lazy mother. Babies have an internal need to suck; it provides comfort for them. Thanks to the discouragement of my lactation consultant, my baby never took a pacifier.

3. Nursing 18-20 times a day (a 24 hour period) is too much. It's not needed. It means that either your milk hasn't yet come in, or your baby is just sucking without getting any milk. It's too much stress for the mother, and if the baby is getting milk, it's way too much milk for him.

4. If your milk doesn't come in within 4 days after birth, you need to provide your baby with supplemental formula in addition to colostrum. It is normal for babies to lose 4-10 ounces of birth-weight within 2 weeks post-partum... but not half their birth weight.

.

5. Fact: The U.S. has the shortest post-partum lactation and brestfeeding duration period in the world.

Another Fact: The U.S. has the highest rate of women who return back to the work force 6-12 weeks after birth.

6. If breastfeeding is causing a woman so much stress that she is having a hard time recovering from childbirth, interacting with her baby, and coping with post-partum baby blues, then it should not be continued. It isn't worth it. It's more important for the mother to be healthy, so she is ready and available to take care of her baby.

Let me just give you a brief synopsis of my story. I breastfed Avery from the get-go. I barely slept (not longer than 20 minutes at a time) for the first 2 weeks after he was born.

.

All.he.ever.did.was.nurse.

.

Then, on the twelfth day of this hell, I realized that my milk hadn't come in yet. So I called the lactation consultant. She said to just keep on trying to nurse, and to make sure to steer clear from formula.

.

Eventually my milk came in and Avery nursed and he was healthy and... whatever. He would have been just as healthy if he had a few bottles of formula.

So anyway, 3 months later I went back to work.

.

I had no other choice but to pump.

.

I pumped from August until December. I pumped in my work office. I pumped in a janitor's closet when I couldn't pump in my office. I missed a crisis meeting on a client because I had to pump. I pumped in a bathroom stall at an exercise facility. I pumped in several dressing rooms at the mall. I got walked in on by 4 of my students on 2 separate occasions. I pumped in a hotel room at a work conference 6 times a day and got charged 150 bucks for it. I pumped in the break room at a taco bell (they had a super nice manager). I pumped in a vacant classroom at Dartmouth university at a training, but got questioned by two separate professors. I pumped in the Principal's office during NECAP exams. I pumped in the emergency care office at Burke Mountain Ski Resort. I pumped in the part-time faculty office at Johnson state College. I pumped, trying to cover up, but in front of 4 employees at a staff meeting in the middle of a public restaurant.

By Christmas break in December, I finally decided that I was done pumping.

I gave my daycare provider a canister of formula, about 16 different bottles, and said 'Have at it!"

.

The lactation consultant gave me absolute hell.

.

I concluded, from all of this.... until you have lived my experience, I dare you to say a word....

Like I said earlier, formula isn't poison. And the day Avery took his first sip of formula, was the day an enormous weight was lifted off my shoulders. My sole came back. My mind came back. My body, for the first time in about 16 months, felt like it was its own again. There was no human solely dependant on my own well-being and nutritional choices. It was the most liberating experience of my life.

I still nurse. In fact, Avery nurses about 4 times a day.

.

Let me tell you, I love the nutrition and bond that nursing provides. And I love how it's the ultimate comfort for Avery- the whole world could be crashing down around us, but as long as he's nursing, he would feel totally safe and secure. It's given me a great and wonderful power that no other caretaker can provide for him.

But there's something I could love more than nursing::::::

Not pumping....

.

I cherish it

.

And to all of the lactation consultants out there, I just need to say... I'm a breastfeeding mother, but I'm also a counselor. From only experience do I know... prosperity finds it's routes in celebrations of accomplishment and success, not in guilt and shame. Leave me and my child alone. Let.us.be.